I'm No Midgardian
by that-sexy-genius
Summary: Midgard and Asgard are two very different worlds. Luckily for Loki, he has Miss Darcy Lewis to help him survive in a world with touchscreens, Internet and the Kardashians. Oh, Odin, help him.


**I'm No Midgardian**

Chapter 1 - Loki Learns about Feels

If anyone thought there was something weird about the ex-homicidal God of Mischief and the girl who tased Thor sitting together, they didn't mention it. After all, he was the _ex_-homicidal God, and Darcy had managed to take down 200-pounds of beefcake.

The two sat next to one another, shoulders almost touching as Darcy talked animatedly, waving her arms as she spoke. To the curious glances cast at the pair, it seemed the God was bored, toying with his food and his head half-turned towards the dark haired girl. It was only Darcy who could see the small twist of his lips, the corner of his eyes crinkling, the shade a focused green.

Several months had passed since the Loki-trying-to-take-over-the-world/Manhatten-almost-getting-nuked/Alien-invasion fiasco. Several months since Loki had turned on his army and helped the Avengers close the giant wormhole in the sky. Several months since Darcy, the intern who knew too much, had befriended a certain dark-haired, green-eyed Asgardian.

Sure, it was a bit of a strange friendship, but it hurt no one- well, almost no one. Their first meeting was… eventful, to say the least, but that's a story for another time- and it wasn't as if anyone was against it (except for Hawkeye, the Black Widow, Captain America, Fury, and basically everyone who wasn't Thor). But everyone had to admit, the pair, odd maybe, kind of worked. It still didn't stop Hawkeye from protesting when Darcy invited her new friend to become her roommate. As a matter of fact, almost no one seemed to be too enthusiastic about the idea, with the Russian assassin actually showing emotion (sort of) and pursing her lips, and Cap turning a violent shade so beet red that Darcy had to ask if his star-spangled undies had ridden up somewhere they shouldn't have.

She had insisted , that yes, she was a big girl, and yes, she could look after herself, and _yes_, she would tell them if Loki tried to take over the world again from his bedroom.

Thor, on the other hand, had whole-heartedly accepted the idea, beaming as he clapped his brother on the back, hard enough to make Loki stumble forward.

"Look at you, brother, making friends!" The younger God had just scowled at Thor, but soon enough he had agreed and his stuff soon took up the spare room in her apartment.

Back in the present, Loki was laughing, "I can't believe you walked right into him,"

"I didn't notice him," Darcy glared at the man sitting next to her.

He gave her a dry look, "It's a little hard to miss a man dressed in black, wearing an eye patch,"

Darcy scowled, "Don't make me Avada Kedavra your ass,"

Loki blinked and furrowed his brow, "I don't understand that reference,"

"You know, Avada Kedavra, Killing Curse, He-who-must-not-be-named?" Darcy waved her own imaginary wand, almost hitting Loki in the process, "Come on! You tried to take over Earth and you don't know Harry Potter?"

"Who is this Harry Potter?"

She gaped at him, "Seriously, dude?"

"Yes, seriously," He rolled his eyes, hiding his amusement.

"He's only the most famous wizard ever!"

Loki perked up, "A wizard? There are wizards in this realm? I must meet this Harry Potter,"

Darcy laughed, "Yeah, that's going to be a little difficult,"

"Why so?" The God of Mischief looked confused.

"He's a fictional character from JK Rowling's books," Darcy paused to steal the last chip from her companion's plate, "As a baby, he managed to survive the Killing Curse from You-Know-Who and eventually he goes to Hogwarts after years of living with the Dursleys, and he meets Hermione and Ron and they-"

She kept babbling, far too fast for Loki to follow, something about giant snakes and man-rats and a Dumb-le-door? From what he _could_ comprehend, it seemed Harry Potter was a wizard from some sort of secret wizarding world.

He scoffed, "It sounds pathetic. I am a much better sorcerer than this Harry Potter,"

"Excuse me?" Darcy glared daggers at him, "Did you say pathetic?"

"Did I offend you?" He barely kept his grin hidden from the girl, as he watched Darcy's lips curve downwards.

"Yes, that series was my childhood!"

The two looked down at their trays, realising they had long been empty and got up with trays in hand.

"So, it is a children's series?" Loki asked as they disposed of their trays, and began walking to the elevator.

Eyes followed them as they walked away, into the hallway off the cafeteria and they both nodded as they passed Clint and Natasha walking in.

Darcy pressed the button, shaking her head fervently at Loki, "Nonono. It is for everyone. Everyone I tell you,"

The elevator doors opened with a _ding_ and they stepped inside. Loki pressed floors '7' and '10', looking at the mortal girl curiously.

"What is so good about this series?"

"The feels!" The words shot out of her mouth almost immediately.

"The… feels?" Once again, Loki was perplexed, cocking his head to the side, "Is this another mortal reference?

"No, it's part of fangirl vocabulary," Darcy pushed the frames of her glasses back, chortling, "It's like, indescribable emotion,"

There was another _ding_ and the elevator doors slid open once again. Darcy stepped out, raising a hand in goodbye to her companion, "Seriously though, read it,"

* * *

It wasn't weird to come home to an empty apartment; Loki was probably doing something science-y, either with Bruce Banner- The Hulk!-, or Tony Stark (As in Tony Stark of Stark Industries!) or at Jane's lab, usually with expensive equipment that cost more than her whole apartment, with fancy shmancy words that Darcy couldn't understand.

But it _was_ weird for him to be late for dinner; Darcy had made Thai food (meaning she ordered it and put it in the fancy bowls). She sat, twirling the food on a fork when the shrill cry of her cell phone made her jump and spill sauce on the table. After a few minutes of digging through her room, she found it.

"Hello?"

"Darcy?" Thor's booming voice assaulted her ear and she held the phone a foot away, "Is this you?"

"Yep, it's me, big guy," She couldn't help but crack a grin, "And remember, we talked about the inside voices thing,"

"Oh, yes," She was able to hold the phone to her ear as he toned down, "Brother has asked me to pass on a message, but I have been busy. He said he will be late,"

"I figured," Darcy shot back, "But thanks,"

"It is fine. I enjoy talking to you on this portable tiny box, but I must go, Darcy. Stark seems to be stuck in his suit,"

"Take photos!" She called as the phone cut off. She could hear Tony yelling profanities in the background and grinned as she went back to her noodles.

* * *

It was around 3 am when Darcy woke up, jolted out of dreamless sleep by a suspicious noise. She rubbed at her eyes, reaching out beside her and feeling for her glasses. Her fingers wrapped around the frames and she pulled the cover off of her, slipping out of the warm comfort of her bed. Darcy grabbed her Taser as she tip-toed to the door, opening it ever so slightly.

She could see flashes of light at the end of the hallway, and the grip on her Taser tightened. Inching through the door, she passed Loki's closed door, and she considered walking him up, but no, she was a big girl, she could handle any intruder.

Heart beating wild like a jack-rabbit, she turned the corner, preparing to aim and shoot with her finger on the trigger and her eyes landed on-

"Loki?" Darcy dropped her arm, finger falling from the trigger as she took in the sight of the God sitting, curled up in a blanket on the couch.

He looked up at her, his voice hoarse, "My feels,"

"Have you been crying?" She narrowed her eyes as she strode across the room, switching the light on.

Yes, there it was; the tell-tale red rimmed eyes.

"Dobby died!" He snapped, turning his face away back to the TV screen.

On the floor, Darcy could see a pile of all seven books, and she didn't doubt Loki had already read all of them. The ending of the Deathly Hallows Part 1 was playing and she felt a twinge in her chest. She didn't think; moving towards the DVD player and changing the disk to Part 2. She soon switched the lights off, and grabbed the remote, settling down next to Loki. He grumbled in annoyance, but let her grab part of his blanket and wrap it around herself.

She wasn't going to say anything.

She wasn't going to say anything.

She had to say something.

"So, I guess Harry Potter isn't as pathetic as you thought it was?" She grinned, casting a glance next to her as she navigated through the menu.

She almost missed the small curve of his lips in reply.

* * *

**So, uh, hi. Welcome, to my story, where two dorks do things that endanger their lives about a million and one times. This is a tale of Darcy and Loki as bros (and maybe even more than bros) and how Loki learns about Midgard- through a series of mortifying mistakes that sadly for him, Darcy had all on video.**

**Oh and, a general disclaimer for the whole story; the only thing i own is the plot.**

**So yep. Until next time then...**


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